Sunday, 20 January 2013

Loneliness...

We all have these times in life where we feel down in the dirt, and wishing we didn't have to get back up onto our feet. When we'd rather just lay there wishing life would go on and time would pass us by. We'd be free to feel whatever we want to, or say whatever we want, knowing that there is nobody to hear our 'cries'.

Now this is where loneliness comes in. Sometimes although you're in the dirt, you wish there could be some sort of comfort in your life. You know that you're all alone, and that it's most likely going to stay that way for a while. But still, you wish there is something or someone you could just say 'hi' to. With technology so imminent in our lives, I find myself sitting at my desk typing away to someone miles away.

Unfortunately, Loneliness is inevitable. It's gonna hit everyone, but we decide our future with a simple choice. How do I mend the wounds?...

I have an account on a website called qooh.me, in which anonymous people can send you questions about yourself. As usual, I was sitting in my room alone when I saw one new message in my inbox. Excited as I am to have new questions I can answer, I opened my inbox to see a simple question which I have seen on lots of other accounts.

What is the furthest you've gone with a girl?, it said, and I paused for a while, realising that frankly, I have never had a relationship with a girl, never asked anybody out, never had a first kiss. My answer is irrelevant, but the fact is, what do people like me, who aren't really the relationship 'cool group' type, take such issues. Well I had to ask myself, am I lonely? Will I be lonely for a while? Will I be 'forever alone' as people say? Luckily enough for me, I have a great group of friends with fantastic personalities, who I'd help at anytime and I'm sure they would me too.

And I realized that the truth is, this is the age in which people start to feel the need for a boy/girl relationship and it's crazy how this 'idea' of belonging has skyrocketed in my head since our return from Chiang Mai. It has come to the front of my mind this sudden attraction to girls. Before it was always, they have cooties and, stay away from the girls and don't sit with them, but all of a sudden, I want to...Now unluckily enough for me, the girl I 'liked' didn't really feel the same way and I suddenly fell through the ice. I didn't want to believe that she didn't like me back, or that she actually had feelings for a close friend of mine. It's crazy what the sudden 'teen' thoughts can do to somebody...

Anyways, I feel pretty down in the dirt right now after that experience, but unlike some people, I want to mend my wounds and get back up and running. I don't want this sudden sadness, to ruin my academic performance, or my general self-esteem, but as I said, I've never felt this way before, but I really want to fix it.

Although loneliness hurts, the way we mend our wounds is what defines a strong person, from a weak person...

1 comment:

  1. Very well written! You described your feelings/emotions in a way that the audience could connect. For me, it's really hard to write and/or describe my feelings.
    :)

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