Tuesday, 26 February 2013

The Art of Invisibility


I’ve just realized an odd truth about myself, its category still unknown to me. Good or bad its interpretation can be seen either way, but sometimes it can just be a useful skill to have (not because you haven’t done your homework…). Have you ever been walking alone, suddenly realizing that a teacher who is either currently teaching you, or has taught you previously is about to walk by. What do you do? Turn around suddenly? Walk by awkwardly? Well, I’ve named it the Art of Invisibility. A big user of public transport, I find myself stuck when there is a teacher on the bus I’m about to board, or one in front of me when I alight. It usually ends as a standoff in my mind, whether the other person is participating is irrelevant, so the invisibility aspect comes with timing.

1.     Look down, hope that you’re wearing a hat, and definitely not the school uniform which is bright green.
2.     Let them make the first move, wait for them to stand up, walk down the aisle and leave
3.     Hope that you aren’t on a trip more than a few stops, otherwise you’ll have to get off at the next stop and wait another 15 minutes for the next bus.
4.     Even if on a short trip, alight at the next stop if the teachers on board include (only because they’ll spot you a mile away no matter how good you are, or how much you’ve practiced):
a.     The counselor  (always has those invisibility seeking goggles on)
b.     The Principal
c.      The Vice-Principal
d.     Anybody involved with the principal (yes even cleaners)
5.     If boarding, stand or sit as far away as possible and DEFINITELY AVOID EYE CONTACT.
What to do if you accidentally made eye contact:
a.     Nothing happened, they didn’t see you and if they mention it to you later, they must be mistaking you for someone else.
b.     Look away immediately and they didn’t see you so it’ll be fine.
c.      Think about alighting at the next bus stop(it’s always a good idea…)
6.     PRAY, AND I REALLY MEAN PRAY, that they don’t start a conversation on the bus ride (because you know already that it’s going to be awkward)

With this perfected after many years of practice, you will be invisible to the teacher, and you’ll avoid those awkward moments everyone hates.

Good Luck and I hope this works for you

2 comments:

  1. Hilarious. Great light and funny tone. Every morning I see you at the bus stop and I keep wanting to stop and embarrass you, but you haven't been there for a few days. Just wait ;)

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    Replies
    1. haha, luckily I've been on a slightly earlier bus to the people who i usually meet... Don't make me leave home earlier just to catch that bus!

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